Last month I spent about 30 days in Thailand, I did a lot of Muay Thai and trained with the best coaches in the best schools, did a lot of Jiu Jitsu and rolled with incredible partners, I have met incredible individuals and athletes, ate new and amazing foods and spent most of my days under the sun, it was amazing like a dream I must say and a trip that has been in the making for a year. I went there not precisely for a relaxing vacation, rather the opposite, what’s the point? Let me explain.
My typical day in Canada would look like this on a work day: I wake up, take a shower, get dressed, leave the house and hit the gym, I then go to work after, in the evening if I am not so tired or if schedule permits I go and do jiu jitsu, I eat then I go to bed, I write about 3 times a week and sometimes I don’t. My life is not as stressful as some other people’s but it sure does stress me, not because of life’s circumstances but because of the lack of progressive stimulation that I brought upon myself.
I noticed that I am stressed not because I’m so busy doing so much, I have learned to calm down with the always grinding mentality and adapted a more productive approach but I still need some work. I am more stressed when I am not doing enough, not doing enough of what I feel I need to do, at that time I didn’t think I needed to work as much as I did, but rather I felt the need to become one with myself outside of work, I felt that I wanted to get better at my passions more than the idea of making more money, and that I am not getting any younger so I decided to go all in. I fought for a month-long vacation with an indefinite return date and bought my tickets for Thailand to chase a more strenuous lifestyle. To train harder daily and sleep more which caused me great anxiety.
I caught up with a good friend as soon as I settled in my accommodation, we had a long chat and I remember him conveying something along the lines of him wanting some sort of struggle for himself, he says: my life is A-1, I have no problems, I have nothing to worry about, it’s going too great, I need some sort of struggle to find something that pushes me to do things that will change me. This resonated with me because I have felt that multiple times in my life. I mentioned in the previous post that something like this can be triggered by different reasons, fortunately I had transferred most of my frustrations to positive energy. Interestingly, as me and my buddy kept chatting, I had suggested for him to try something different with his life, to test himself and recommended something radical. The word Self-destruction came out of my mouth and conveyed to him some of Tyler Durden’s philosophies.
Tyler Durden’s views on self-improvement are not straightforward, as he is a complex, often contradictory and paradoxical, However, they encourage us to question our assumptions and embrace a more radical approach to personal growth.
“Self-improvement is masturbation..now self-destruction…”
This quote challenges the idea that self-improvement is not always a positive thing. Tyler Durden suggests that focusing too much on our own self-improvement can become a form of narcissism or self-indulgence. Instead, he advocates for a more radical approach of self-destruction, which involves letting go of our ego and embracing the chaos of life.
On my first day of training in Thailand I noticed that I tend to go back from my learned knowledge with regards to jiu jitsu, I was simply applying things that I already have in my arsenal and doing it just like when I was training in Canada. However after having the conversation with my friend it struck me, I was not utilizing the situation at its full extent, maybe I was confident of my learned skills that I simply sparred with my partners with the techniques I already know, since jiu jitsu is very compounding I trusted that training here will only improve what I already know which it did, however, I believe the way to maximize this training opportunity is to let go of what I know and do things only that are taught to me, to suffer in pain and do only things I have never done before, to be more purposeful of my training and endure whatever comes. P.S I got sick 2 days after because of the humidity and the intensity of the training, this self-destruction shit is something else. LOL.
In some capacity, It’s like what Jordan Peterson has said, that what we don’t know is more important that what we already know, when trying to learn something from scratch you should put in mind that every possibility is bound to happen, controlling situations is good in some cases but you are not truly letting go of everything, only when you expect nothing is when you are being true to the idea of self-destruction, starting from 0 to learn just to reach level 1 and then 2 then 3, only then you have the unadulterated learning experience. If you want to be better than what you are now, try to suck at things at the highest level.
“It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.”
This quote suggests that sometimes we need to let go of our attachments and start from scratch in order to truly improve ourselves. Tyler Durden encourages us to embrace the uncertainty of life and to take risks in order to find our true path. Having to go in a country where I do not speak the language, not knowing anyone and the fear of having to train with people that are way better than me in every aspect of the sport I am pursuing, it does sound scary but also exciting, I only brought enough money with me and had to let go of the fact that I will not make any money out of what I’m doing. P.S I’m still broke and have not made millions just yet.
“You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake.”
This quote speaks to the idea that we should not be complacent with our current state of being. Tyler Durden suggests that we are all part of a larger system, and that we should strive to break free from our conformity and embrace our individuality. In this sense, self-improvement can be seen as a way to become truer to ourselves, rather than trying to conform to societal norms.
When I was getting ready for my trip a lot of questions were asked, what got into me and made me do it, honestly, I did not know how to answer the question, and my generic answer was I have been thinking about it for a year now and I think I just had to do it. Another question was, where did you get all those vacation days? The answer was no I don’t have those vacation days, and I didn’t have the luxury of paid vacation days either, I was paying out of pocket, but it just had to happen regardless of my situation. Another question was, you’re not an athlete, what is your purpose? You’re not even doing Muay Thai why are you going to Thailand? I eventually got tired of answering their questions just for it to make sense, because clearly, they didn’t see it as I did. My final answer was I am doing it because I want it, because how can I not, I don’t care if it does not make sense in your head. So lastly Tyler Durden also said: “You’re not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You’re not your fucking khakis.”
While you still have the strength, the time and energy to do something, go ahead and do it, you will never know what might happen tomorrow, if your passions are speaking to you do not ignore it. Give it a thought and decide what to do next.
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