From childhood, we were programmed to look to those around us and mimic what they’re doing. Part of growing up is essentially learning to be like other’s in order to fit in with family, friends, and society or to maybe follow the footsteps of the ones who “made it” just so we can be accepted by the very people raised us. We were prepped to be good and law abiding citizens so that someday we can contribute to society through our work and taxes.
Growing up as a kid, I have been conditioned a lot. Things were expected of me, not only by my parents, but also my friends and sometimes even I pre condition myself. I have an extensive explanation of how all of that went down but that’s for another day, for now we shall talk about the importance of following your own path and to not worry about other people’s expectations.
It’s important to remember that everyone is different, and while the status quo might work for the majority of the population, it doesn’t work for everyone.
Challenging the Status Quo.
Status quo: the existing state of affairs. – Normalcy. Normality.
There are a lot of examples of status quo existing in our society today whether it’s in sports, parenting, showbiz and in the workplace. The common notion that a responsible human being must find an honest, high paying job after graduating from university. To get married and have a family at a certain age while maintaining a professional career.
One that I have witnessed the most is; “If you work hard, you will eventually make it”. Writing this made me sad because, I have been on both ends of this. At my previous job I have known people who are considered institutions, ones who have been working there for 10-20 years who I most definitely know worked harder than I ever did. I have only been an employee for a year and was bulldozing through these people and later becoming their boss, I was only 26 years old. I then realized that the status quo of my industry was a myth. That not all who worked hard will make it, granted I was very capable with my job and I showed great promise/potential as per my bosses, but the imposter syndrome if there ever was actually hit me when I was again being promoted not even a year after. I could feel myself distancing away from my coworkers not because I was doing it purposely but my job entailed and demanded something different from what I previously do.
I eventually quit the job, not because I could not do it, but because I was becoming different from the person I thought I was.
Change, people commonly resist change because they see it as a threat to the status quo, they may do this because they fear that change might not be in their interest, alternatively they may just choose stability.
Follow your path, whatever you want to do; do it, I’m not saying YOLO, however at the end of the day it is your life. You’ll be the one who will suffer for it and the one who will reap the benefits you brought upon it. No one else. Be the one who suffers for your own choices.
Don’t be controlled by whatever the norm is dictating.
Parents, they tend to be simplistic and practical when it comes to advice. Just know that whatever they advise is supposed to be in your best interest and it’s usually out of love. One day we will probably do this to our own kids without us realizing.
Living the life you always longed for will eventually become more meaningful and will make you happier, and that will be as equally important to your parents, seeing their child live a life he/she always wanted.
School, The educational system practically wants to produce people into society that conform to their ideologies. This is great for society and the economy as a unit, because it’s those productive, law abiding people who keep countries going. But we should also keep in mind that there are those individuals who don’t conform but are still productive and contributes to the society.
Society, We’re supposed to get married to a beautiful partner, start a family and have kids, live in a nice neighborhood and have a home. It’s fine to want to conform with these things and have the society’s praise but the type of life dictated by society isn’t always perfect fit for most of us. There are a lot of people that are highly successful by society’s standard but are absolutely miserable.
We now live in a society that values achievement, financial resources, and personal possessions. Sometimes a person’s value is based on his income, sadly I sometimes feel this kind of judgement, but if money was of no object in this world what value are you really worth outside of your day job.
Create your own path
Freedom to be who you are
There’s nothing wrong about wanting or living a conventional lifestyle, but it’s not for everyone. When we find ourselves living lives that don’t align with who we truly are, we suffer; psychologically, spiritually or even physically.
Genuine self-expression is important for our well-being, even when it sets us apart from others. In some cases people find it that they are better off losing some friends if it means they can be more of themselves and find their real purpose.
Create your own meaning
Some argue that life doesn’t have meaning until one gets married or has kids, others place a higher value on professional success. There are a lot opinions out there about what it takes to make life meaningful. But meaning is personal, it’s an experience. What’s meaningful for me might not be for you or others.
The types of experiences I have had or are going to create eventually is what’s going to make my life meaningful. The adversities we overcame, the kindness we received and given the content and information we consume and what we leave for others, the love, and hope we provide. Take control of your destiny and find your own path. Your life will be more interesting, more satisfying and uniquely your own.
One of my favorite Author James Clear asks:
What career would you realistically pursue if you wanted the most money?
What career would you realistically pursue if you wanted the biggest impact?
What career would you realistically pursue if you wanted to have the most fun?
What career offers the best mix?
XERGIUS 